


This Burning Inside

by xxenjoy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergent, Case Fic, Dean Reads Fanfiction, Love Confessions, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Sex in the Impala, Top!Cas, alternate s.9, bottom!Dean, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 15:02:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxenjoy/pseuds/xxenjoy
Summary: Working a case with Charlie and a newly human Cas leads Dean to discover just what the draw of fanfiction - andDestiel- really is.





	This Burning Inside

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write Dean reading fics FOR SO LONG, I don't know how I just finished this now.  
> Special thanks to the lovely [malicezero](https://malicezero.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr for her editing assistance, and general support.
> 
> There seems to be some sort of issue with only some of the italicised words in this, but I can't figure out what it is or how to fix it, so at the moment it's just gonna have to stay the way it is.

Dean had been opposed to Charlie getting involved with this case right from the get-go; it's a routine in-and-out job that he and Sam could easily have handled on their own - even with a newly human Cas to contend with, but Charlie's the one who brought them the damn thing, and Sam's a big fat traitor, so Dean's been overruled. He's not exactly thrilled about Cas joining them either, but Cas had come to him a few weeks previous and told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn't going to be left behind just because he'd lost his grace, and if Dean didn't like it, well that was just too bad. Some things about Cas haven't changed since he fell, and grace or not, Dean's not going to get in the way of Cas when he wants something.

So now he's sitting in a tiny, musty hotel room with not one but three companions when it should really just be the two of them; three is two companions too many as far as Dean is concerned. Sam and Charlie are huddled around her laptop, trying to whittle down the list of possible suspects and Dean is keeping out of the way, lest he get roped into helping with research. He's lounging on the bed - _his_ bed, which he is not sharing under any circumstances - trying to ignore the itching discomfort of having two wildly inexperienced hunters helping out. Granted, Cas has been through more with them than anyone, but that was when he had his powers; when Dean could count on one hand the things that could kill him. Now he's just as fragile and vulnerable as the rest of them.

He tries not to think about it, but since they left the bunker, Dean's been able to focus on little else. He needs Sam and Charlie to figure out what this thing is so he can come up with a game plan that keeps Charlie and Cas at a safe distance while he and Sam do all the grunt work. Already he's started considering options for the usual suspects - spirits, vamps, werewolves; he's not going to let his friends get hurt just because he's underprepared. His eyes flash over to Cas, sitting with his feet up on the couch with a book, and his heart clenches at the thought of anything happening to him; yeah, he can be fierce and headstrong, but Cas is also soft and caring and it shows a lot more since he's not tangled up with the likes of Heaven anymore. His eyes lift over the top of his book and Dean quickly turns back to watching Sam and Charlie, steadfastly ignoring the heat that rises to his cheeks.

Thankfully, before anyone can call him on it, Charlie's phone buzzes on the desk, and she flips it over, a wide smile spreading across her face. Three expectant faces turn to her, and she shrugs innocently.

"Sorry, nothing important. Just the fic I subscribed to last week, looks like the author _finally_ started updating again."

"The _what_?" Sam asks, and Charlie's sheepish expression only intensifies.

"The fic. Like, fanfiction?"

"Really, Charlie?" Sam asks, indignant, and Dean can hardly blame him, but Charlie just rolls her eyes.

"Oh my God, it's not like I'm reading about you and Dean. Well, not like _that_ anyway- what?" she asks, seeing the disapproving looks that come from both Sam and Dean this time, "they're good."

"Maybe if you don't live them," Sam puts in, and Dean nods his head in agreement, recalling the graphic detail in which his night with Cassie was depicted - and that was Edlund's work, these are written by fans who don't have to tone it down for a publisher. He shudders at the thought of it.

"These aren't the Supernatural books we're talking about Sam, they're fan works based on those books. None of this is real, it's an... alternate truth."

"Yeah," Dean pipes up, "we've encountered it before.

"Oh, relax," Charlie sighs, "you can't discount all of it just because of one little fic about you banging your brother. There are thousands of stories out there, some of them better than the books I've read, and let me tell you, I've read a _lot_ of books."

"Hey," Sam interrupts, still clicking away on the computer, "I think it's a shifter. Maybe more than one considering the range of the killings."

"Cool," Dean says, already sliding off the bed. "Then we already know how to kill it. Now we just have to find it."

«♦» - «♦» - «♦» 

Finding a shapeshifter isn't the easiest thing in the world, but Dean's anxiety is ramped up tenfold because, considering the worst attacks happened on opposite sides of town, they've split up to question people. For some stupid reason, Sam thought it would be best to take Cas with him and leave Dean and Charlie together. Normally it would be great, but there's too much shit going on in Dean's head and he can't stop to focus because he's constantly having to stop himself reaching for his phone and texting Cas to make sure everything's okay. If Charlie's aware of it, she doesn't bring it up, just keeps scrolling through her phone as Dean drives them from place to place.

He needs a damn distraction but it's too early to drink, and besides, he can't be under the influence of anything if he's gonna look out for Cas and Charlie, so he does the unthinkable, and asks Charlie about what she's reading.

"Huh? This?" A smirk spreads across her face, "Harry Potter fanfiction."

"Of course."

"Come on, Dean, it's not that bad."

"Mmhm, what's it about?" he grunts.

"It's an AU," Charlie starts, "in which Hermione was the chosen one and-" she pauses, registering the look on Dean's face, and explains. "Alternate universe - not set in the canon universe. Sometimes as simple as changing one or two main events, sometimes the whole thing is different and everyone's a werewolf."

"Right. Go on."

"Well, I'm not very far into it, but she's just met Luna and it's obvious she's falling for her, only-"

"Hermione and Luna?" Dean asks.

"The beauty of fanfiction is you can find any pairing you want. Take you and Cas for example-"

Dean nearly swerves off the road trying to turn onto a side street, and Charlie barely hides her amusement.

"Why would I do that?" Dean grumbles.

"Because you're like, the biggest ship out there? There's like three times more Destiel fics than Wincest."

Dean physically cringes. "That's' what they call it? Wincest?"

"I mean, you have to admit, it's kinda clever, but back on topic - you and Cas are huge man, you should read some of the meta-" Dean glowers in her direction as he pulls up into the driveway, double-checking the address to make sure they're in the right place. "Or not."

«♦» - «♦» - «♦» 

Christ, why the _hell_ does it have to be Cas? The weird Sam-slash-Dean shit? Wincest or whatever the fuck they call it, that he can deal with because as fucked up as their lives are, he can say with 100% certainty that he has never, nor will ever feel anything other than familial love for his brother. Cas on the other hand... Well, Cas he's not quite so certain about - and maybe that's why they're so popular, but he tries not to dwell on that thought too long.

He's been thinking about the whole Dean/Cas thing for hours; he barely made it through the first interview because all he could think about was what exactly all these people are writing about him and Cas. He knows from previous conversations that there are different ratings for fanfiction, just like with TV shows - stuff that's safe for kids, stuff that's not, and then the really hardcore stuff that's basically porn with words. Maybe, in this case, it's all just tame stuff, just him and Cas hunting together or whatever, the four of them having slumber parties and braiding Sam's hair - that did almost happen once, after all.

It consumes his mind for the rest of the day, and it's a damn good thing he's with Charlie and not Cas because Charlie is the only one retaining any of the information they get, and if Cas was here, Dean would be a lost cause entirely. As is, when they get back to the motel to share their findings, Dean can't even bring himself to look at him, and he keeps his gaze fixed firmly on the floor.

The four of them set out just after nightfall, which makes hunting a little more complicated, but also reduces their chances of getting caught and arrested for attempted murder. God knows neither of the Winchesters needs any more strikes against them. Sam was right, there are two shifters, and from the sounds of it, they're squatting in an abandoned warehouse down by the docks; a murder-for-hire team, so to speak. As they drive down, Dean double-checks all the facts with Charlie, blaming his exhaustion for his terrible memory instead of owning up to the fact that he can't stop thinking about his best friend and what, thousands of people have apparently been writing about them. 

When they arrive, pulling up a short distance away, Dean steps out of the car and directly into what looks like a human-coloured pile of space slime. Well, at least they know they're in the right place. Sam and Cas are coming in from around the other side; according to blueprints they 'borrowed' from the city hall, there are two main entrances to the warehouse - a staff door on the southern side of the building, and the big bay doors facing out to the ocean. Sam and Cas are covering the bay doors, and Dean grudgingly sends Charlie ahead to meet them because they've got a lot more space to cover, and Dean can handle one damn door on his own.

At least he thinks he can, but none of them are expecting both shifters to come up from behind, and Dean doesn't have time to pull his gun, before he's flung out of the way, crashing hard into an old shipping container. His shoulder aches a little, but he'll survive, and he gets up again quickly and jumps back into the fray.

There's a scuffle and Sam takes one out while it's preoccupied trying to warn its companion about Dean coming up from behind. While it's slow enough that it gets caught, the message still comes across, and before he knows what's happening, Dean's in the air again. He misses the container this time, and goes straight over the edge, hitting the water with a loud splash.

He splutters to the surface, looking around frantically for a way to get back up, and when he spots a ladder, he swims for it as hard as he can. His body moves more slowly than he wants it to because he's freezing - a side effect of being thrown into the ocean in March - and waterlogged, and when he hauls himself back up onto solid ground, the remaining shifter is face-to-face with Cas. 

Cas has a knife in his hand, and he looks like he knows what he's doing, but Dean's heart is racing so fast he thinks it's going to burst. Everything he's ever learned goes out the window in that split second, and he shouts for Cas, terrified and desperate. 

Cas doesn't move; he keeps his foothold, still staring down the creature in front of him, but the shifter twitches in Dean's direction, and that's all he needs. Before the shifter can even realize its mistake, Cas plunges the blade into its chest with a grunt, and Dean doesn't breathe until the thing is lying dead at Cas' feet.

Dean collapses against a stack of crates and shuts his eyes, forcing his heartbeat to return to normal. _Cas is okay_ , he tells himself, but the image in his head won't go away, and it's hard to focus on anything else. Sam's on him in a minute, shrugging out of his coat and wrapping it around Dean's shoulders and being, frankly, much more concerned than he needs to be.

Sam drives back to the motel, ditching the junker he hotwired earlier in the day so Dean can rest in the back seat. Cas sits next to him, trying and failing not to look too concerned, despite Dean's insistence that he's been in so much worse condition, and a little cold water's not going to kill him. It only serves to deepen Cas' frown, and after that Dean gives up.

They stop briefly for food and hot drinks on the way back, and Cas makes sure Dean eats and drinks, and stays under the blanket to keep his body temperature up. If he wasn't still so anxious about the scene at the dock, he would probably appreciate it, but he's on edge and _he's_ supposed to be the one who takes care of _Cas_ , not the other way around.

They get back to the motel in one piece, and while Sam checks Cas and Charlie over for any injuries, Dean heads straight for the shower to warm up. The water pressure sucks, but it's hot enough that it helps him forget about the rest of the world for a little while, even if it stings the fresh scrapes and bruises on his side. 

When he gets out, he puts his pajama pants on and slumps on his bed - the bed he's been assured he _will_ be sharing because they're not springing for a second motel room just because Dean's being selfish. 

Cas comes to sit next to him, hands full of bandages and disinfectant, and this time Dean doesn't try to fight it. His shoulder is starting to ache, and he's exhausted; he doesn't have the will to fight so he just lets Cas get to work patching him up.

"I wish you'd stop trying to protect me," Cas breathes, just loud enough that only Dean can hear him, "I wish you'd stop putting yourself between me and everything that tries to hurt me."

"What am I gonna do?" Dean replies in the same hushed tone, albeit a little gruffer, "just let 'em get you?"

"You're going to burn yourself out fighting for both of us. You have to let me do this on my own. Did you do that to Sam, too- nevermind," he stops himself, "you probably did."

He winces as Cas dabs at the scrape down his arm, "I just- you're not as strong as you were."

"You think I don't know that, Dean? Do you really think that that's not blindingly, devastatingly obvious to me in everything I do?"

The words sting a little, and Dean shuts his eyes. "I'm sorry, Cas, I just want you to be okay."

Cas smiles softly, his fingertips grazing Dean's skin, "and I don't want you to die trying to save me." Dean's eyes snap up to meet his, and there's so much raw emotion there, he can't hold his gaze, but that's what it comes down to, isn't it? He _feels_ too much; he can't let Cas get hurt because how would he cope?

"Okay," he nods, but he knows the next time around won't be any different, because he's had to watch Cas die too many times; he can't do it again.

They fall silent, and before long Cas is satisfied that Dean is patched up well enough, crossing the room to put the medical supplies away. He comes back and sits on the edge of the bed, and neither of them moves. Charlie and Sam are already curled up under the covers of the other bed, and Sam's snoring away, which leaves this bed to them. After the day he's had, Dean would rather sleep in the back of the Impala than share a bed with Cas, but knowing Cas, he would find a way to haul his ass back inside anyway, so he doesn't argue.

He curls up on his side, as close to the edge of the bed as he can manage, and forces himself not to think about it when the opposite side of the mattress dips down under Cas' weight. The light goes out and Dean is suddenly terrified that Cas will want to cuddle or something to make sure he keeps his body temperature up, but after a few minutes, he's pretty sure he's in the clear.

Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes pass and Cas snores softly next to him, mumbling incoherently in his sleep, but Dean is more awake than he's been in the last week. Each and every one of Cas' movements is like a slap in the face, reminding him that Cas is there, and Dean realizes that this right here is the reason people write about him and Cas together. Fucking hell, like he needs to be thinking about that right now.

After about an hour of restless tossing and turning, Dean can't take it anymore. He slips out of bed as carefully as he can so as not to wake Cas, changing into his jeans and pulling on his boots and a hoody before heading out of the room.

It's fucking cold out, made even worse by the lack of cloud cover, and Dean ducks into the backseat of the Impala, curling up in the corner. He eyes the grey blanket on the floor, but it's damp and would probably only make him colder. Besides, if Cas found out he was huddled under a wet blanket, he'd probably find a way to smite him for it.

Out here, he doesn't have Cas' soft breath and body heat to contend with, but he can't stop thinking about the stories. If so many people are writing about them, there has to be something to it, right? He's willing to admit, if only to himself, that there's been _something_ different between them, almost right from the very beginning, but it was easy enough to pass off as Cas' lack of understanding or their _profound bond_ \- the guy did pull him out of hell, after all. It's been five years now though, and even if Cas wasn't with them the whole time, his understanding of human behavior is infinitely better than his first year on earth and Dean often finds himself missing the days when he used to have to remind him about personal space.

The longer this goes on, the harder it is for Dean to insists that they're just friends, or they're just working together, and maybe that's the reason he ends up googling _Supernatural fanfictio_ n at three in the morning in the backseat of his car. He clicks on the first link that pops up, and it leads him to a site that can only be described as a fanfiction archive. The top of the page reads 1 - 20 of 180,504 Works in Supernatural with links for each additional page, and a next button at the end. The sheer number of stories is staggering, and Dean stares at it for a minute before actually looking below at the works.

The top story is tagged as Sam Winchester/Lucifer, and he physically retracts, scrolling down and away from it. When he catches a glimpse of his own name, he stops, scrolling back up to take a closer look. There's a lump in his throat, and he can't quite bring himself to look at it right away, but when he does, he hovers over the icons at the left. It's rated for general audiences, so it can't be too bad, and he clicks on the title before the more reserved part of his brain can stop him.

He reads the first few sentences, and it seems mostly harmless, so he continues on. Ironically, it's about Dean not being able to sleep, and Cas, being frustrated with the fact that they're sharing a bed and Dean being unable to sleep means he is unable to sleep, does his best to fix the situation. It's okay right up until the point where Cas' methods turn physical, and while still maintaining a PG rating, Dean's having a hard time reading about Cas pressing up against his back and kissing his neck without heat curling up the back of his neck. He clicks back because he doesn't want to think about it; at some point, he's going to have to go back inside and sleep six inches away from Cas, and he doesn't need to be thinking about _that _.__

__The next fic that catches his eye has a big red E next to it, and Dean pretends not to guess what that means as he clicks on it. It's longer than the last, six thousand words to the last one's 1200, and he skims through the tags at the top before reading. It's maybe not the best decision he's ever made, considering one of the tags is literally _porn without plot_ , but he presses ahead anyway because he's not a quitter._ _

__There's a bit of stuff at the beginning, setting up the scene, and when he gets down to the actual porny stuff, his heart thuds heavily in his chest. He can't imagine actually having sex with Cas would be any more nerve-wracking than this._ _

__It's well written, really fucking well written, and Dean has never thought of porn being anything other than visual before but holy _fuck_ , this is hot. Once he's started, he can't bring himself to stop, despite the fact that he's half-hard reading about fucking his best friend. He shifts a little lower on the seat, dropping one foot onto the floor as he spreads his legs. _ _

__The longer he continues, the more he gets into it, and when fictional Cas growls filthy things into his ears, he can practically hear it. He palms absently as his growing erection, eyes glued to his phone screen as this fictional version of himself lets Cas do pretty much whatever he wants to him, and shit, doesn't that hit just a little too close to home._ _

__He's really getting into it, thrusting up against the palm of his hand and moaning softly with each pass. It's harder to focus with the spikes up pleasure shooting up his spine, and he shuts his eyes, letting himself imagine the rest of the story if he can't focus to read it._ _

__He pops the button on his jeans, and just as he reaches for his zipper, the car door swings open and he recoils, doing his best to hide the prominent bulge of his dick as Cas' face peers in at him._ _

__"What the fuck, man?" Dean exclaims, still panting as heat flares in his cheeks. Cas looks at him blearily, squinty as always._ _

__"I woke up and you were just gone, I was afraid- I thought you might have left, but then the windows were all steamed up and-"_ _

__"And you didn't take that as a sign that you should just turn back around and go back to bed?" Dean snaps. He regrets it almost instantly because he feels bad, but even more so because Cas seems to suddenly realize what he walked into._ _

__"I'm sorry," he says softly, but the sarcasm bleeds through, "you're right, of course. There's no chance you could possibly have died or been injured outside in the cold, especially after you've already been thrown into a shipping container and the ocean." He rolls his eyes furiously and moves to climb out of the car, but Dean grabs his wrist and pulls him back._ _

__He doesn't mean to pull so violently, he just wants to apologize because it's not Cas' fault his instinctive reaction is to be a dick, but he overestimates and Cas ends up sprawled in his lap. Well, shit. He realizes too late that he's still sporting a fairly prominent erection, and there's no way Cas doesn't feel it in this position, so he draws back, pulling his legs up under him and staring down at his knees. Cas doesn't speak, but he shifts a little awkwardly as he moves into the center of the seat._ _

__"I'll go," he says at last, and Dean's heart sinks._ _

__"Don't," he says too quickly, "I uh, I'm sorry I was a dick. I appreciate you checking up on me."_ _

__"What I meant," Cas starts softly, "is I'll give you some privacy, just please come back inside when you're done."_ _

__Dean groans out loud because this night couldn't possibly get worse, and yet, "that's not what I was doing."_ _

__"I... don't understand, you-"_ _

__"I was just- _fuck _, I was reading," he admits. Cas' eyes light up, even in the darkness of the car, and Dean knows immediately that Cas understands what he means.___ _

____"Reading what?" he asks, and Dean gives him a look. Cas' lips quirk up a little at the corners, but he doesn't give in, and Dean sighs._ _ _ _

____"Don't freak out, okay?"_ _ _ _

____"Dean, you used to pray to me in your sleep, whatever you have on your phone isn't going to shock me."_ _ _ _

____Dean blanches, because just what exactly does that mean? Okay, so maybe he's had one or two tiny dreams about Cas that could be considered sexy, but Cas doesn't know that, right? He hands over his phone mechanically, struggling with the idea that Cas might already know exactly the way Dean thinks about him, and his breath comes in quick, shallow gasps._ _ _ _

____He stares at Cas, as Cas' eyes dart back and forth, reading the same words Dean just nearly got off to, and he finishes reading before Dean has even decided what he's going to do about the dream thing._ _ _ _

____"I will admit," he says, "this is incredibly arousing, but I would never have expected you to be so... I don't know if submissive is the right word."_ _ _ _

____"I, uh-" Dean starts, before he can think better of it, "that's uh, that's actually pretty accurate."_ _ _ _

____"But in your dreams-" Cas argues._ _ _ _

____"My dreams are just dreams, Cas, I don't control them. I thought you were always watching out for me or whatever, you’re telling me you never watched me have sex?"_ _ _ _

____Cas snorts indignantly, "I would never stoop to spying on you, Dean. Besides, I generally only had to wait a couple of hours until you fell asleep."_ _ _ _

____He's not totally certain, but that sounds a lot like Cas would get off to Dean's sex dreams about him, and wow, is that a mental image. His dick twitches in his jeans, reminding him that he's still hard, now fully erect under the thin layer of denim as he essentially admits to an ex-angel of the lord that he would gladly submit to him. Jesus fucking Christ._ _ _ _

____Cas turns in his seat, resting a hand on Dean's knee, and pushing his leg back against the leather seat, "you shouldn't be ashamed," he breathes, and Dean chews his bottom lip, refusing to look at him._ _ _ _

____"Cas, you just caught me reading about us fucking and then told me about all the sex dreams I've projected up to you, I don't really know how else to feel."_ _ _ _

____"Relieved," Cas offers, "exhilarated? _Aroused_?" he punctuates the final word with a brush of his hand down the inside of Dean's thigh, and Dean swallows hard, shutting his eyes and barely resisting the urge to thrust up against the touch._ _ _ _

____"I may not be able to feel your emotions anymore, but I don't need you to tell me to know how you feel, Dean. It's all there in the way you speak, the way you act differently around me than you do around Sam or Charlie," he pauses, tipping Dean's chin up, "in the way you can't even look at me right now because you know I'm right, and you don't know what to do with that._ _ _ _

____"Dean, if you paid a little more attention instead of just turning away when you get uncomfortable, you would realize I feel the same way." The words hit him like a punch to the gut, and Dean opens his eyes to find Cas staring straight back at him, "those dreams? They used to be the best part of my day - a confirmation of what I felt when I was with you." He leans away, pulling the door shut behind him as he slides forward again, pressing between Dean's thighs._ _ _ _

____"I used to think about them all the time - I think the same way you've been thinking about the fanfiction all day, imagining the way we would fit together," Cas lowers himself, pressing right up against Dean, and there's no mistaking the fact that he's just as turned on by this whole situation as Dean is._ _ _ _

____"Why don't we find out?" Dean pants and that's all the persuasion Cas needs before his mouth comes crashing down against Dean's, hot and possessive, and remarkably skillful for someone who's kissed all of two people. Then again, Meg seemed to enjoy herself, so- the thought dissolves as Cas' tongue presses against the seam of his lips, and Dean slides down, curling his legs around Cas' waist and pulling him down against him._ _ _ _

____He holds him as close as he can, moaning softly as Cas deepens the kiss, rolling his body against Dean's. It's too much; so hot and needy and everything Dean's been holding back for years that Cas manages to pull out of him in a matter of seconds. He squeezes his eyes shut, as Cas' cock presses against his own, groaning into his mouth, and Cas nips at his bottom lip, pulling away and sliding down his stomach._ _ _ _

____"What are you-" Dean starts, but Cas' fingers are quick to get his jeans undone, and as it sinks in what he's doing, Dean's breath catches in his throat. He winds his fingers through Cas' his hair, lifting his hips obediently as Cas tugs his jeans down to his knees in one swift motion. The look he gets when Cas realizes he's completely naked underneath could burn through steel, and it's a miracle Dean survives it, but the ducks down, pressing his lips against Dean's thigh, and everything else is pushed out of his mind._ _ _ _

____Cas kisses every inch of skin that he can reach, nipping at the delicate skin and soothing it with his tongue. Half an hour ago, just the thought of Cas' mouth on him was enough to have him hard and aching, and now that he's here, pressing up as close as he can get to Dean's cock without actually touching it, and Dean can barely breathe._ _ _ _

____"You're beautiful," Cas hums, pushing himself up to press his nose against Dean's balls. He flicks his tongue at each of them, before sucking them into his mouth and gently massaging them with his tongue. He tightens his fingers in Cas' hair and the resulting moan sends a jolt straight up through the head of his cock. Pre-come beads at the head and Cas pauses in his ministrations, watching as it rolls down the length of Dean's erection._ _ _ _

____He pulls off with a faint pop, licking the trail up Dean's cock before dipping down again. Dean's dick twitches, chasing the wet heat of Cas' tongue, but to no avail; Cas has moved on to better things. He curls his arms around Dean's thighs, tugging him down the seat so Dean's legs fall naturally over his shoulders._ _ _ _

____"Cas, what-" is as far as he gets before Cas is spreading his thighs apart and dipping down again. There's a brush of something against his rim, and Dean's too busy thinking how fucking good it feels to realize that it's Cas' tongue darting out and swiping over the muscle. It's not the first time someone's gone down there, but in the past, it's generally been a chick he picked up from the bar, who was drunk enough that her inhibitions were down, and it was nothing more than a finger massaging him as she sucked his dick. Occasionally, when he was feeling brave, he'd bring lube into the shower with him, and fuck himself on his fingers, imagining what it might be like to have Cas inside him; he's never had anyone's mouth on his ass._ _ _ _

____Still, it doesn't take experience to know that Cas is fucking good at what he does. After the first few swipes, when he's sure Dean's comfortable with it, he just fucking goes for it, a flurry of lips and tongue, and when he bites the flesh of his ass, Dean's shaky moans fill the cab of the car._ _ _ _

____Cas' hot breath huffs against him, and then he's being pulled closer and Cas pulls his ass into his lap, pushing Dean's thighs back so he's all but folded in half and _Christ_ that should not be as fucking hot as it is. Cas seems unaware of the exact effect he's having, focused instead on that task at hand, which seems to be getting Dean to come on his tongue, something he's much more likely to achieve than Dean ever could have suspected. He points his tongue, pushing into the muscle and Dean shudders under him, but when he doesn't get as far as he wants, Cas presses a finger into him, just up to the first knuckle._ _ _ _

____He can't push back in this position but he wants more, and he groans in frustration as Cas huffs a laugh against his cheek. A second finger presses in alongside the first, but the stretch burns a little, and Dean grunts quietly. Cas breathes a quiet _sorry_ into his skin and pulls back._ _ _ _

____"Please tell me you have lube out here," he huffs, and Dean just grins._ _ _ _

____"It's like you don't know me at all," he says, but it's hard to sound cocky with his ass up in the air. "It's in the glove box."_ _ _ _

____Cas lets him down, leaning over the back of the seat with some difficulty to get to the glove box without having to open the door. He retrieves the bottle and settles back on his knees, pulling Dean's hips up again, and kissing a line from his hole up to the base of his cock._ _ _ _

____"Thank god," Cas rumbles, "I was afraid I was going to have to go back inside." He nips at Dean's ass, smoothing over both cheeks with his hands and squeezes firmly. Dean lets out a shuddering breath beneath him._ _ _ _

____"You carry lube with you?" he huffs, eyes dropping shut as Cas' fingers slip back in to press at his rim._ _ _ _

____"The way you dream, I wasn't given much of a choice. After I fell, when I couldn't hear you anymore, I just never stopped." Dean groans as he rolls his head back, picturing Cas in some shitty ass motel, fully dressed except where his cock juts out from his pants, long and thick._ _ _ _

____He's pulled from his thoughts as Cas' slick finger presses back into him, sliding in and out a few times before a second joins it. Dean clenches around him, trying to encourage the thrust of his fingers but Cas just pulls back, fingers only barely inside him. Dean writhes under him, aching for more than the barely-there press of Cas' fingers, whining that he needs him deeper, faster, harder. He shuts up pretty quickly when Cas' tongue slips between his fingers, pushing in as deep as he can go._ _ _ _

____The sensation is enough to drive him insane, but it's the thought that Cas' tongue is actually inside him that really does it for him. He's panting before Cas can even move, and when he does, Dean can't help the desperate whimpers that fall from his lips. Cas thrusts into him over and over, sometimes pushing his fingers in with his tongue, and Dean can't do anything but grab at his thighs and dig his fingers into Cas' sweatpants._ _ _ _

____His cock hangs heavy against his stomach, leaking onto his hoody, and somewhere in the back of his mind Dean knows he's going to have to stash it somewhere after this, but then Cas' mouth withdraws, relocating to press kisses into his skin, and he forgets all about it. His fingers slip into him again, deeper than before, and he finds Dean's prostate with ease, rubbing up against it until Dean's whole body is tingling._ _ _ _

____Cas hits his prostate with amazing precision, and Dean's so overwhelmed with the thrill of it, that he doesn't realize how close he is to coming until it's too late. He pushes Cas back with a grunt, but by the time Cas realizes what he's trying to do, Dean's cock is twitching hard against his stomach as he comes in hot white stripes against the navy blue of his hoody. He curls a hand around himself, stroking slowly as he rides through it and unfolds himself, hooking his knees over Cas' shoulders._ _ _ _

____He's panting and moaning with the rush of it all, barely aware that he's mumbling Cas' name, squeezing Cas' thigh so hard his fingers cramp as his other hand slides over his cock, slowing as he struggles to catch his breath._ _ _ _

____Cas lays him out on the seat as he comes down, and Dean throws his arms over his face with a groan. He's always had good control over his body, so why is it when it's most important when he's finally here with Cas that it fails him. He feels like an idiot, but Cas just hums softly, kissing up his legs and stomach until he reaches his jaw._ _ _ _

____"I'm sorry," Dean breathes, and he can feel Cas shaking his head._ _ _ _

____"Don't be. That was incredibly sexy."_ _ _ _

____"I haven't come that quick since I was a teenager," Dean grumbles._ _ _ _

____"That's nothing against you, Dean," Cas assures him, "it just means I'm good at what I'm doing. Do you want to continue?"_ _ _ _

_____Oh_ , he hadn't even considered that. He just thought Cas would be disappointed and leave it at that; maybe he'd jerk off on Dean's stomach, but he didn't think he'd want to carry on._ _ _ _

____"Yeah," Dean nods._ _ _ _

____Cas smoothes his hands un his stomach, sliding under his hoody, "sit up so I can get this off of you."_ _ _ _

____Dean pushes himself up weakly, letting Cas do all the work to get him out of his soiled hoody. Cas leans in, kissing him softly but with an undercurrent of aching desire, flicking his tongue at Dean's as he pulls his own shirt over his head. He breaks the kiss briefly, lying back against the opposite door as he reaches to push his pants down, but Dean stops him. Shifting so he's on his knees, he crawls up over Cas, tugging his pants and underwear down and pushing them away on the floor._ _ _ _

____He bites at Cas' collarbone, and he can hear the smile in the little huff of a laugh as Cas tips his head back. His hands slide up Dean's back as Dean moves down his chest, leaving a trail of wet kisses down to the head of his cock. There's a sharp intake of breath, and for a second Dean doesn't realize that it wasn't him. He's thought about this so many times, but he's never actually had another guy's dick in his mouth, and he just wants it to be good for Cas._ _ _ _

____He presses his forehead against Cas' hip, unable to meet his gaze, "I've never done this before."_ _ _ _

____"It's okay," Cas breathes, "me neither." He strokes his hand through Dean's hair, gripping just slightly; a reminder that they're in this together, that no matter how shitty Dean is at sucking dick, Cas isn't going anywhere._ _ _ _

____Dean pushes up into the touch and Cas tugs a little tighter instinctively as Dean's tongue traces the vein up the underside of his cock. As his lips slip around the head, Cas shudders and Dean can feel the restraint as he keeps himself from thrusting up into the heat of his mouth. It feels good, amazing really, to know that he can make Cas feel like this, this man that was once thunder and lighting now slumped int he back of Dean's car with his dick in his mouth like it's the most natural thing in the world. Dean moans around him and Cas draws his knees up, pressing in on either side of Dean's shoulders as his cock drags against Dean's tongue._ _ _ _

____Dean seals his lips around him, suckling at the head and letting his tongue curl around him, pressing underneath and flicking at the slit. He lets Cas push into his mouth, sinking further down his length when Cas stops himself short. He likes having Cas' cock in his mouth, likes the weight of him, the heady taste on his tongue, even the faint ache in his jaw as he keeps his mouth tight around him. He's never been one to turn down oral sex - giving or receiving - and he's always loved going down on women, but he never thought he'd enjoy having a dick in his mouth as much as he does now._ _ _ _

____Cas fills him up, slipping in as far as Dean can take him and nudging his hips forward lightly. If Cas' voice was deep and sexy before, it's nothing compared to the way he grunts and moans when Dean takes his cock back into his throat. It hurts a little, but he adjusts, desperate to make Cas feel as good as he does. Pre-come drips from the head and Dean pulls back, licking it from his slit before taking him deep and swallowing around him._ _ _ _

____His own cock jerks beneath him, and Dean slides a hand under his hip, curling around himself and rocking into his palm. He's already half-hard again, and he gives up control, sliding his palm up Cas' stomach as he lets Cas fuck his mouth. He pulls his cock in time with Cas' thrusts, and he's rock hard again in no time, rutting against the seat with every thrust._ _ _ _

____All of a sudden, Cas' cock slips from between his lips, and Dean finds himself hauled up into Cas' lap, the full length of his cock pressing between his cheeks. Cas' hands run up his chest, over his shoulders and up into his hair, pulling his head down to kiss him fiercely. It's all teeth and tongues, but it's good, and when Cas' cock slides over his hole, Dean nearly forgets how to breathe. He presses back against him, swallowing Cas' moan and returning with one of his own as he wraps a hand around himself again._ _ _ _

____Cas bats his hand out of the way, jerking him roughly as his kisses turn desperate between the gasps for air as they both try to catch their breath. Dean leans over his shoulder, nipping at Cas' earlobe as he breathes against him. He reaches back, curling his fingers around Cas' dick where it sits between his cheeks, and guiding the head toward his hole. He rubs the head against himself, pushing back against him and he's so tempted to just shove himself down on Cas' cock and ride him until Cas comes inside him, panting and shaking._ _ _ _

____The temptation is too much when the head catches against his rim, and he drops forward over Cas, leaning in next to him. "Do you want to fuck me?" he asks, only it comes out desperate and pleading. _Please, Cas, fuck me. Fill me up and make me scream_. He can barely think, so wild with arousal, as Cas grits out a rough _yes_._ _ _ _

____He curls his arms around Dean's shoulders, pulling him into a searing kiss and lifts his hips, sliding up between Dean's cheeks a couple times before aligning himself and pushing in. Dean doesn't have much for comparison, but Cas feels fucking enormous inside him, filling him to the brim, and for a second all he can do is sit and adjust to the new sensation. Sure, Cas just finger fucked him till he came all over himself, but this is so much more; they talked about it in the fic, the feeling of fullness, but he never really understood it until now._ _ _ _

____Cas shifts his hips and Dean presses his forehead into his neck, mumbling about how good it feels, how big Cas is, how badly he wants to get fucked - apparently, he has zero filter when it comes to sex with Cas. When he draws his hips back, Dean chases the feeling, pushing himself up and sinking back onto him. He braces himself on Cas' shoulders, hunched over in the small space as he rocks his hips back and forth. He fucks himself on Cas' cock, shifting his hips and pushing himself up as much as he can, for as long as Cas will let him, but his patience has a limit, and Dean finds that line pretty quickly._ _ _ _

____Cas shoves him back against the seat, leaving Dean panting as he crawls back up over him. He curls an arm under Dean's thigh, hauling it over his shoulder as he pushes into him again. He pushes between his thighs, snapping his hips in quick succession and every nerve in Dean's body lights up._ _ _ _

____Cas is relentless, folding him in half and slamming into him until Dean's so lost to the pleasure of it all that all he can do is hold on for the ride. Cas hits his prostate on every pass, and Dean's certain he would have come by now if he hadn't once already; it's like Cas was built to fit perfectly with him, and fuck, knowing their lives, maybe he was._ _ _ _

____Cas bends down low, breathing heavily against Dean's lips as he kisses him, "I'm so close," he breathes, "so close, Dean, but I want you to come." His voice is broken, like shattered glass, and Dean never thought he'd get to hear him like this, but fuck is he glad that he can. He nods mutely, reaching between them to stroke himself, and it's so damn good he won't have any trouble keeping his word._ _ _ _

____He's coming again in seconds, painting his stomach as Cas kisses the scream from his lips. Cas' hips stutter and his thighs shake, as he follows, pulling out to come on Dean's stomach. Dean can't keep his eyes off him, the way his hand stills on his cock as he spurts between them, his lip trapped between his teeth and nostrils flared in pleasure. It seems to go on forever, and then Cas huffs a shaky breath and sprawls over him, still shaking with sensitivity._ _ _ _

____He curls his arms around Dean's shoulders, pressing kisses into his neck and along the line of his jaw. They lie like that, pressed against each other in the backseat, and Dean very nearly drifts off, all the anxiety that's been winding him tight melted away, and he's never felt so close to someone before. He squeezes Cas a little tighter and breathes in the scent of his skin, tinged faintly with sweat and the stench of sex._ _ _ _

____He shivers against the cold air, and Cas' hand comes up to cup his cheek, kissing him softly, "we should go inside."_ _ _ _

____Logically, Dean knows he's right, but he doesn't want to leave this place where he's happy and content, if not a little cold. He doesn't say anything, but he presses kisses into Cas' collarbone when he moves, bringing his arms up to loop around his neck, and Cas seems to get the idea anyway._ _ _ _

____"We just have to go inside, it'll be warmer and more comfortable and I won't have to lie on top of you."_ _ _ _

____"I kinda like you on top of me," Dean grins, pushing his fingertips up into Cas' hair. "Besides, Sam and Charlie are in there."_ _ _ _

____"Dean," Cas says gently like he's trying to break bad news to him, "they know. Sam's known for years, probably since before you did."_ _ _ _

____Dean mulls that over for a few minutes, rubbing the back of Cas' neck, "look, I know you probably already know this because of the whole angel thing or whatever, but I love you, Cas."_ _ _ _

____"I love you too," Cas smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his lips, "more than you know." He sits up, pulling Dean with him and they use Dean's hoody to clean themselves up quickly. It seems so casual, in the wake of such a grand confession, but if he's honest, they've probably both know for longer than they realized, and it's cold in the car, colder now that Cas isn't pinning him against the seat. They can be sappy and cuddly when they're warm in bed._ _ _ _

____They dress quickly and lock the car up again, making sure there are no telltale signs of the encounter before shutting the door and making for their room again. Dean stops him, just as Cas is reaching for the door handle, and turns him around. It's so fucking cold out here with no shirt, but he pauses for a second, just looking at Cas' face before he kisses him, pressing him up against the door. Cas smiles against him, allowing the distraction for a moment before pulling away and pushing the door open._ _ _ _

____Dean watches Cas cross the room and climb into bed, and he follows, stuffing his hoody down in the bottom of his duffel bag before climbing up onto the bed and rolling over Cas. Cas immediately wraps around him, pressing his leg between Dean's and pulling him close. He was right, this is definitely more comfortable than in the car, and Dean finds himself looking forward to curling up with Cas in his own bed back at the bunker. When they get back to the bunker they'll have all the privacy they want - if Dean's room is too close to Sam's, they'll just sleep in Cas'._ _ _ _

____"Hey," Dean breathes, "when we get back you wanna, I dunno, I mean you can say no if you don't want to, but-"_ _ _ _

____"Dean," Cas says softly, patiently, "what would you like?"_ _ _ _

____"You could sleep with me if you want. When we get home I mean. Doesn't have to be my room, I'd just like to have you there."_ _ _ _

____"Of course, Dean. I would love that."_ _ _ _

____"And we could do this again?"_ _ _ _

____"Mm," Cas hums, "definitely."_ _ _ _

____"That was literally the best sex I've ever had, even if I was folded in half for most of it."_ _ _ _

____Cas leans in, pressing his nose against Dean's cheek, "I built this body," he says softly, running his hands up Dean's thigh, "I know exactly what to do to make you feel good. I didn't forget that just because I lost my grace."_ _ _ _

____"Well that's hardly fair," Dean scowls, "how do I know what feels good for you?"_ _ _ _

____Cas smirks at him, cupping his cheek, "I'll just have to show you when we get home."_ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://dates-with-cas.tumblr.com/).


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